SO, WHAT AM I DOING TODAY.

i am pacing around my parents' house listening to (shinichi atobe, sonic youth, super.variegated) and waiting for my sex products to arrive.

HEY MAX WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT

eeyeah, i'm way ahead of you! but, since this is my personal blog, it's good to include a few squicky, gatekeeping personal details on here every now and then. we can't have the faint-of-heart listening in!

see, i'm being silly again. sometimes i write or say things without being certain that i actually mean them. -> heck, did i even mean that? the world may never know.

right now i'm listening to my least favorite track on BUTTERFLY EFFECT, Waste Land 1.

BEING AWAY FROM MY PARENTS' HOUSE FOR A FEW DAYS

was quite good. now i'm thinking less unproductively about my creative roadblocks. i feel like a capable person with a perspective that creates worthwhile work. and so on and so forth

the concept of the "audio journal" (at least as a daily practice) harshed my mellow a bit. i don't think it's extraordinarily healthy to create out of obligation, especially for a (real, or imagined) audience. first and foremost, these exercises should be consented to by the exercisee.

all this to say (by the way--is that above paragraph coherent, in your opinion? do you know what i'm trying to say there? i'm unsure.) that i will be doing that kind of stuff when i am interested in doing it.

in general, i will try to do things when i want to do them, and i will also make an effort to control my environment and mental wellbeing such that i am consistently wanting to do the things that i most believe i show worth and aptitude in (MUSIC! and sometimes creative writing. oogh, i haven't written a story in months.)

but, lack of inspiration is not a bad thing. it's a necessary part of the cycle. and the way to move through it that i find most comfortable right now, is to, just, take a break!

oh, lordy. will i ever be able to express myself without being a self-important weasel? unlikely.

free association spitball thinking like this is, hopefully, healthy. like i said, i'm not equipped to evaluate whether or not any of the verbal diarrhea up there is coherent or not. that is up to You, and to Me of the Future. good luck, chosen ones!

SO MAX HOW HAS YOUR DAY BEEN

the finished product, before digging in. click the picture to learn how make a fancy coffee drink of your own!

i think weekend updates work a little better for blogging, because things are actually happening in my life and i'm actually interested in talking about them because i haven't been ground down by the ol' 9-5. perhaps that will be my M.O. going forward!

we'll see. anyways.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

. . . mAX OUT !